Barbara Kay: Fight the Parti Quebecois by laughing at them

Even if you don’t speak French, you should learn the expression “risée du monde” (RDM). That means “international laughingstock” and that is rapidly what Quebec is becoming because of its (minority) PQ government’s twin obsessions: promoting Quebec’s image as a de facto sovereign country when it has no mandate to do so, and wiping the sight and sound of English off the face of Quebec.

RDM: PQ leader Pauline Marois makes a special trip to Scotland as a pseudo head of state to tutor politicians there on tactics for Scotland’s upcoming referendum campaign, and is totally cold-shouldered, because, having failed twice to win its own referendums, Quebec’s separatists are in no position to advise anybody on anything.

RDM: The language police from the Office de la Langue Française swoop down on an Italian restaurant in the trendy, multicultural Plateau area of Montreal, aghast at the word “pasta” on its menu, a word that, like “sushi”, has international recognition. “Pastagate” goes viral. Red-faced cabinet ministers say the language police over-reacted. But everyone knows they didn’t over-react; they were merely applying Quebec’s stupidly inflexible language laws.

RDM: The PQ informs Ottawa that from now on, all Quebec cabinet ministers will speak to their federal counterparts in French only! Result: big yawn. All official business is conducted in either official language, most federal civil servants are bilingual (disproportionately francophones in any case) and there is translation available for those who are not bilingual. Nobody cares. Everyone laughs at this childish gesture of one-upmanship.

How do we combat the lunacy? RDM. More and more of it.

Because you know who dictators hate more than anyone? Comedians. Satirists who ridicule their nutty obsessions. If there is one thing anti-democratic, power-hungry fanatics can’t stand, it is being ridiculed. The more pompous and full of themselves dictators get, the more trenchant the satire gets. That’s why in real dictatorships, the satirists are the first ones to be purged.

And so you really must watch the parodic videos created by Montreal comic Rodney Ramsay, in which two language cops, Officers LaJoie and Bourgignon, vigorously pursue language malefactors, and bring them to justice – with the offenders doing hard time in language school.

There’s nothing funny about the anglophobia that drives the hardliners in the PQ government

In one episode, which perfectly captures the typical mood of cop-show ambiance, the officers receive a call in their police cruiser, warning that two language offenders are at large in their patrol area. “Tabernac!” They’re on it! They drive slowly down an alley, babbling to each other in impenetrable *joual* (fortunately there are English subtitles), then suddenly spy their prey: two bewildered anglos standing quietly and talking together – in English!

Excitedly, the two cops jump out of their squad car, push the guys up against a wall and frisk them. Triumph! One of the suspects has an English dictionary in his pocket! One cop opens it, seems shocked at what he sees, looks at the camera, shakes his head in sorrow, unable to find the words to express his disgust. They also find a cache of marijuana in the other pocket, and hold it up for the camera, but “we’re not interested in that.”

The irony is that the actors in the send-ups are real francophones, obviously endowed with a great sense of humour, a trait absolutely lacking in the entire PQ governing elite. Not only are the videos amusing, they are evidence of the social harmony that has always existed between ordinary Quebec francophones and English-speaking Quebecers. And ordinary francophones are embarrassed by their government’s growing reputation as a banana republic on language issues.

There’s nothing funny about the anglophobia that drives the hardliners in the PQ government. Which is why it is so important to keep making fun of them.

National Post